So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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