Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
