i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
