Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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