Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Randomize
