does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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