no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
