How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
