what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
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