nut hugger
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
