if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
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