I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
