omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
