Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
