doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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