Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
