ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
