Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
