you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
