who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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