Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
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