i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
