nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
