Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
