Please, let me fuck your mom
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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