toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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