More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
