Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
