the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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