I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
