He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
