He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
This is my gift to your gina
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
