So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
