so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
