ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
