non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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