also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
