I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
