Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i barfeds in our rink
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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