having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
