you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
