dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
