come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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