I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
You were trust falling into bushes
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
