Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
