i was born a porn star she said
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
