Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
