you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
