How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
