What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Randomize
