i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
