Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
she woke up with a sticky ear
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
