I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
