Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
